


Overthinking

by hollyblue2



Series: Writing Challenge Entries [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotionally Repressed Dean, Fluff, Love, M/M, Slight Anxiety, Slight envy, Teacher!Dean, teacher!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5805016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyblue2/pseuds/hollyblue2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean is almost envious of how easily Castiel can say "I love you." to Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overthinking

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the January edition of the SPN Writing Challenge. My prompt was envy.
> 
> I have to say that I started writing three completely different fics for this prompt. I ended up with this though and I'm happy with it, finally aha :D

“Dean!” Castiel shouts from across the flat. Dean looks up from the essays he’s marking to see Castiel stood at the window. “It’s snowing, Dean!” Castiel grinned.

Dean puts his red pen down and goes to see for himself. He stands behind Castiel and loops his arms round his waist looking over his shoulder.

“So it is.” Dean muses. Snow lost its excitement when he had to drive to work in it for weeks on end. Now it’s just white stuff that’s a pain in the ass. “Come on, I’ll make coffee, I’m gonna need something to get me through these papers.”

Castiel laughs a little and shuts the curtains again. He follows Dean into the kitchen.

“We should go out for a walk in it.” Cas says happily.

“What? Why would you want to do that? It’s freezing cold, not to mention only ten o’clock in the morning.” And as if to prove his point, Dean yawns as he fumbles with sorting the coffee machine out.

“Come on, Dean... live a little?” He teases. His smile could light up any room, Dean loves seeing it.

“Okay.” Dean agrees and they pour coffee into travel mugs and put on their coats and shoes and head out the door.

The snow is still falling when they go out and he’s pretty sure Cas reverts to a five year old all over again, sticking his tongue out and pointing his face skyward. He pulls out his phone and snaps a picture.

He’s so carefree as if there’s nothing else going on in the world. As if he doesn’t have another twenty papers to mark himself. Like he doesn’t have to wake up every day at six o’clock to go to work. It’s as if there’s nothing but this moment right here.

Castiel looks at him then. That handsome smile gracing his face, he can see from where he’s stood a short distance away that it reaches his eyes. If only he could tell him without his stomach roiling and knotting. Cas has told him several times how much he loves him, how beautiful he is and Dean can only wish he could say the same to him; he’s almost jealous – envious – of how easily it comes to Castiel to tell him everything. He has tried, many times, but every time the words get caught in his throat and he ends up saying something different or shutting down completely.

Dean pulls his beanie hat further over his ears as he responds to Cas’ beckoning. A small smile curls the edge of his mouth as he shakes the thoughts out of his head. They linger though.

_You’re beautiful._

_You’re handsome._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

He repeats them over and over and over. Making them stick, making them confident. There’s still that twinge in his stomach and he wills it away, takes a swig of coffee, will it away, another swig. Deep breath.

He goes forward towards Cas: _handsome Cas, beautiful cas, I love you, Castiel._

He smiles. Smiles until it reaches his eyes.

His boyfriend is looking at him, as if he was looking through him.

“Do you think we can make a snowman?” Castiel asks, tilting his head.

Before he can think one more thing, Dean engulfs Castiel, wrapping his arms tight around him. Dean laughs into Castiel’s shoulder.

“I love you, Cas… I love you so much.” He says, meaning every single word. Castiel gasps.

“I love you, too, Dean.” He replies quietly.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this :)


End file.
